A letter to my younger self.

My homework from my therapist was to write a letter to my younger self and i found it a really healing process. I encourage you to write a letter to your younger self. Here's what I wrote:

Dear adolescent me. I was going to apologise for all the suffering I have put you through over the years; all the insults I threw at you, every scar I left on you, every meal we skipped or purged. But without those experiences, you wouldn’t be who you are today. And I truly believe you’ve morphed somehow despite the ups and downs into a decent person, navigating life in a somewhat straight-ish line with a general direction. Not bad. Believe me, it's not bad because life is fucking hard. I’ll tell you now, it wont necessarily get easier, but it will feel better. And when it’s better, you’ll develop a passion for helping others get through the dark times that are in ways similar to what you have experienced. And here, you will thrive. So take note of all the painful experiences and don’t be afraid, because you will be fine. 

Here’s some tips:

To doubt yourself is a waste of your valuable time, because trust me young beautiful girl, you are capable of anything you want and I don’t know with what cruel words, actions or misinterpreted look made you think that you’re otherwise, but you are more than enough. I want you to know that perfection is not a thing. It is unattainable. To ‘strive for perfection’ is to run an endless marathon, drive in the dark with no headlights (something you have done a few times tbf). I promise you, a thigh gap will not bring you happiness, FACT. It’s also incredibly hard to achieve/maintain and let’s be honest, you cannot be arsed. It is unachievable and you’re putting detrimental pressure upon yourself, whilst setting yourself up for failure. That’s not to say failure is a bad thing. Failure is inevitable in life if you are to achieve something meaningful, which you will com to learn. My advice for you, is to fail faster. Don’t allow your insecurities and preoccupation with others’ opinions deter you from doing what you WANT to do, from being creative, being yourself. You will fail, and it wont be easy, but you will learn, and you will improve, and you will grow, and you will succeed. Please, I beg you, make sure when you get there, and when you achieve great things (like a Masters with Distinction) be proud of yourself and don’t look for mistakes. Anyway, fail faster, fail better, achieve; you get it.

Stand up for yourself! You’re lucky enough to have been brought up with a working moral compass (if I do say so myself), and you know right from wrong. Don’t be afraid to speak up for yourself. Your name is not fucking Mira and if you don’t want to kiss him then for the love of God, just don’t kiss him.

I love you,

Mayowa x