5 tips for improving your confidence

 

1. Shoulders back, hold your head high. 

Research has identified a link between good posture, increased self esteem and confidence in your own thoughts. Perhaps this is linked to the fact good posture enhances lung capacity, meaning more oxygen and all that good stuff which will promote better reasoning and logical thinking. From an evolutionary perspective, posture plays a part in appearing larger and threatening to possible predators. Standing up straight with your shoulders back tells the world and yourself that you're ready for what is to come, that you’re prepared, capable. Pay attention to your posture and stand tall as though you deserve to take up every cm of space your body fills - because you do.

2. Wear something that you feel cute & comfortable in 

I think an important step towards being comfortable within yourself is being comfortable in what you’re wearing. There’s nothing worse than spending the day worried about how you look in your outfit, pulling and tweaking at the material on your body to make sure it’s not clinging to the parts of yourself you're least comfortable with. Experiencing your day with background thoughts of discomfort and self-consciousness will instantly lower your vibe and affect your day moving forward. How can you enjoy your day if you're uncomfortable in the garms you're experiencing it in? Consider how a child feels in a dirty nappy or walking around in wet clothes all day; grim. Most of us desire to look good and trends are pushed onto us as if lives depend on it. Being on trend is great but not all clothing styles are made with a diverse range of bodies in mind. FEELING good in what you wear will make you look better than any clothing item can. Don't dress for society, dress for yourself.

3. Dance like nobody's watching 

This doesn’t have to be specific to dancing but the key to this point is overcoming the innate belief we have that EVERYONE is watching and judging us. By contrast, most people are walking around focusing on THEIR problems and needs. Some people may glance at you, but you have taken up 0.5% of their mental space, as they will soon return to their own reality, forgetting you. If you are dancing, chances are, you may also bring a smile to their face (remember, energy is contagious). We spend so much time concerned about what others think of us when the only thing that really matters is what YOU think of you. Do you think you look good? Then you do. More importantly, do you feel like you’re a good person? 

This kind of exercise targets our irrational thoughts that convince you your world will implode if we are seen to do something embarrassing in front of others. In reality, nothing will happen and you will be fine. 

4. Be kind to yourself 

Research has identified that negative words and bullying has a negative impact on self-esteem within humans; it even goes as far as to show that negative words can affect the growth and development of plants! If words can affect plants this way, imagine how unkind words and judgment from yourself, directed at yourself can affect you. We are our own worst critics and at times this is helpful i.e for reflection and development purposes however, we are not taught to give ourselves grace, compassion and kudos, unless for something that is viewed as substantial by others i.e. a degree or owning a home. In fact, you deserve celebrating for most of the shit you do; like getting through a difficult work week when you wanted to call in sick, turning up places you didn't want to go to be supportive or because you have responsibilities, managing families and relationships, jobs and mental health in this chaotic experience we call life. 

5. Talk to randomers/ strangers (safely) 

If you have confidence difficulties that relate to social interactions, one method I have found particularly helpful is starting up random conversations with lay people you meet during the day. For example, that old woman at the bus stop or the shopkeeper you buy your bread from every other day. Small interactions such as these develop your confidence in talking to people and unless the other person is a dick, you’ll likely get a positive response which will give you a little boost of dopamine, one of the brains ‘happy chemicals’. What's more, social interactions are literal human connection, another aspect of life that contributes to wellbeing and good mental health that we often forget about. In this technological day and age, it's easy to forget to connect face-to-face rather than screen-to-face.

The benefit of using random people you encounter throughout the day to interact with is you likely won’t see them ever again, or they will never be a significant person in your life. Therefore, their opinion of you does not matter one bit.
Tip: Old people are usually a cert for a random convo, as the population struggles with loneliness and often  appreciate the pleasantries of conversation and some connection. A simple ‘how are you?’ also goes a long way with people completing a service for you such as the barista making your coffee.